As this project begins to unfold, it is already proving contradictory. Starting it so early after finishing my second project, my creativity is booming, and it is already a much greater start than my first gap between projects, a realm that lasted seemingly endless. The slump has vanished... This is my Final Major Project, and though I should have no worry to achieve expectation- taking note that my expectation is to achieve distinction- there is still the creeping swell that the entirety of the course is solely dependent on the grade of this project, and the grade decision holds with it the fate of my university offer. Taking that into account, this project must be perfect. The allowed time for completion is ten weeks, but taking into account the two-week edit, one-week shoot and two-week test shoot, the casting of actors and securing of locations, all encircled by the bundling paperwork whose summit lies vast, it will require this to be a tight operation with NO allowance for even the occasional procrastination. My point is that I have to come up with a brilliant idea that I am passionate about, and I have to commit to it fast- something unnatural to me.
My lecturer labeled me a 'Magpie', and rightly so! I am obsessed by the glimmer of beauty, even if that beauty is instantaneous and momentary. Thus far, I have amounted three ideas, two that I love. Taking such a short a break from my last project is clearly the right approach with starting anything new, but it brings with it the stale ideas of the past. I noticed that I have great difficulty differentiating heartfelt-influence and heartfelt-beauty (hence the 'Magpie'). My first project, the realist film following heavy dialogue scenes, a naturalistic and grim look on the mundane, and the deep-yet-unremarkable characters and scenes, proved that my love for realism lies only in its consumption. The process of bringing such a thing to life completely flustered me, and resulted in something which I couldn't connect to. My second project, an expressionist horror movie which, though gripping, bore identifiable faults, proved a great success personally. I was able to learn, bathe in its beauty, and most of all, feel connection towards my motive for making it. I have identified that its bolder visuals, stories that aren't bound by realist constraints, and mood-heavy plots were where I thrived. Coming into this project, that yearning for the expressionist, the surreal and the obtuse still bears fruit, but it is impossible to know whether I am deliberately crafting something surreal in the definitive sense, or merely exploring it with its intention in mind.
My first idea bears some past thinking, and though I would love to make it, I don't feel that this is the right time for making it. My second idea bears the surreal and pushes it to excess. It follows the story of an actress who sleeps her way to the lead role in a theatre performance, but when the man responsible starts steering his attention away from her on the eve of the play's performance, she starts to doubt herself. Its aim is to explore the need to satisfy people and the insecurity with oneself. I know that you must be doubting its surreality with such a plot, but the surreal manifests in the encounters she has with people who are not there, with times that only exist in the format of the mind's infinity. Its story is told in a flurry of mood-intensive scenes that would be great to film. Though I am in love with developing this idea, I have two constraints which are pestering the crevices of my thoughts. Firstly, its ambitious. I am not, nor will I ever be put off by ambition. However, taking into account the timescale and budget I have, and taking into account that this requires innumerable extras and an entire theatre to shoot in, it seems as though the stakes are too high, and if it were to crumble, then I might be risking the integrity of the project, and with it the security of the distinction grade, which- as of this moment- is a minatory prospect in my thoughts that I don't wish to liven.
The foe to this idea is a narrative-driven story. It follows a bungalow on a dark and quiet suburban street. Out of the stillness comes finger-clenching chaos as the front door erupts open, and with it comes a woman running for her life, terrified. She hauls down a car passing by and convinces him to stop. She begs a pledge for help, claiming she is in danger, that someone is in the house trying to hurt her. Failing to console her, he knocks on the door of the opposite house. Explaining to the neighbour what has happened, he requests to use her phone to call the police. Reluctant, she informs him that the woman who lives in the house opposite is a psychotic recluse who only ever comes out to play games such as these, and that this isn't the first time a stranger has knocked on her door with the intention of phoning the police for her. He then lies to the terrified woman about the police coming, and agrees to check the house out with her. Inside the dingy space, he finds the owner of the house murdered, and realises that the terrified woman with him is not the homeowner which he previously thought. As you can tell, I am very enthusiastic about this idea. Not only is it very easy to film, it ignites ideas and clear visual inspirations. The negatives are that it doesn't necessarily excite me in the way that the other one does, mainly because it isn't a story that bears the hallmarks of the surrealist story I intend to tell. Having said that, I am very impressed with the narrative and believe that the finalising of its production would be a treasure to accomplish.
As of this moment, it is a definite fend-off between the two, and the final idea is yearning closer to conquering the hopes of producing the other, mainly from a logistical point-of-view. In terms of thinking about the project, I am ahead, and that is a consolation in itself. The paperwork side is developed, and- presuming I pick the final idea- there is a clear style and voice to follow. The struggle is finding the magic in it. I don't want a story which I already know how to film and develop. I want something magical that ignites a fire in my heart. I hope to find it.
As of this moment, it is crucial to identify what to do next. My inspirations for the project lies in specific areas. David Lynch was my first inspiration, with the vivid story of Mulholland Drive and Twin Peaks. Framing wise, I want to research Kubrick more, even though I have basically read all there is to know about him. I seem to go back to his style of filmmaking consistently, and there is always something that reminds me of the power of filmmaking. Though I researched Wong Kar-Wai thoroughly for the previous project, his mood-intensive visuals and storytelling is definitely something I want to incorporate again. All projects of the surreal seem to have elements of psychological horror, and with the recent revival of psychological horrors in mainstream film consumption, I think it would be beneficial to analyse specific works that move me and understand the influences that sprouted them, such as the surrealist movement of the 20's and gothic literature. Also, character studies always play a huge role in my films, and there are a few that ring particularly true to this project, being Bob Fosse's All That Jazz, and- of course- Taxi Driver. Short experimental films have ignited a lot of heart and have made me think of how I could develop my own unique stance to my filmmaking style. Outer Space by Peter Tscherkassky was a film that particularly inspired the final idea, and research into similar films and their makers would prove beneficial to understanding what it was about Outer Space that ignited such instantaneous inspiration. Finally, my love for photography has blossomed even more since discovering Nan Goldin, Diane Arbus and Susan Lipper last year. I plan on discovering and researching more photographers to understand how I can reference and incorporate them into my own process. This also rings true to my love of paintings, such as Caravaggio, John Currin and Jack Vettriano. I love how filmmakers use beauty from these established works to reference and research their own art- something that particularly Kubrick was known for.
I plan on trimming these inspirations into specific areas of research. First of all, I will pick 3-5 films to analyse, and explore the artists behind them. This will most certainly include All That Jazz and Mulholland Drive, but I will have to brainstorm some others. Whilst writing the essays, it is also crucial that I make a final decision on which idea to pick and justify why, not just for the sake of paperwork but so I have an incentive to such a commitment. Once this is finished, I will start to work on the first draft of the story and possibly plan a few trips around local residential areas where I could film. I think my routes on finding a location will be through social media, asking of friends and printing fliers to post at locations which I like the look of. I should possibly start designing an approachable flier on Word too.
To conclude this blog, I am nervous but excited. Nervous about the pressure of time, about the scale of resources. Nervous about the impending grade of the project and my bad habits of being a procrastinate Magpie, and nervous of my commitment to finding love in a single idea so early on. But most of all, I am excited and determined to succeed. Determination is a trait which I excel at tremendously, but its a trait that has been lost to me for months. I am blessed to have rediscovered it the previous weeks, and I do not intend to lose it again. Not now, not ever.
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